An Ode to the Beast in the Basement

Your subtle warmth has graced this house

for 64 long years,

and you have served it faithfully

--though your demise will cost me no tears.

Why?

When every fall we lose the fight

and temperatures dip too low,

it is I, dear furnace, who must go below

and light your pilot light.

I face your rusty, blue-green frame

(you really have let yourself go, by the way)

and my heart begins to pound.

(Yes, I know that fearing you is really pretty lame.)

I will miss the sense of accomplishment I get

when I hear your familiar Whoosh!

(Especially when it's not followed by BANG!)

However, I must say, the damage you do to our utility bills

are something I won't soon forget.

So goodbye, dear beast, it's been real;

your replacement is on its way.

I assure you it's nothing personal....

We just got a really good deal.